[Maverick tensing gets Rover to tense as well, and they unconsciously cling to his hand. They don't...They wish they could get a do over, that they could stop the words from ever leaving their mouth.
They can't help but feel that they've fucked it all up, somehow.
At the laugh, they just...deflate. They don't quite manage to relax, but...
But they're listening.]
Do I? [Pathetic, they're pathetic, they don't deserve Maverick at all-] But I guess I am a pain in the ass.
[So it's a wonder anyone puts up with them at all.]
[He takes a second to just learn how to breathe like a normal person again, just a calm, normal person that isn't stressed to hell over something as unexpected and cosmically minor as a love life. He manages, sort of, even if he's just mirroring the habits of whoever that normal person really is, because with how intensely he cares for Rover in the moment, even after everything else that happened in the day.
But the important thing is that he's breathing and not crying out of panic or relief or overwhelming love. That settled, Maverick begins laying kisses on the back of their neck and shoulders, slow and ginger. Each one is an admission silencing himself from the I love you, I love you on the tip of his tongue.]
M'sorry. Are you...gonna stay? Even though your boyfriend's a massive fucking idiot?
[The kisses are what get them to really relax. Maverick wouldn't touch them so much if he was disgusted with them, or if he didn't care, they think, so it's easy to just let it happen.
They close their eyes, squeezing his hand and mulling over their thoughts. They're still not sure what to do. They still don't know what's the right choice, but they suppose that it doesn't really matter. They have time to decide, at least, and there's no harm in just waiting things out.]
Yeah, you are an idiot. [They let out a soft laugh.] But I'll stay.
[they were literally fucking just two minutes ago but okay rover
He doesn't want to rush them to answer, even if setting more kisses to their skin makes him feel weirdly guilty, like maybe he's manipulating them because he can't lose them -- but he can't, not when he's made this choice. He wants to make them happy and feel as loved as he, well, loves.
The affirmation and the laugh get him to smile against them, even if it's shaky.]
Thanks. And I, uh, should be done with the dumbass talking points for the night now, don't worry.
They hesitate for a moment, before releasing Maverick's hand and nudging at him to give them space so they can roll over and look him in the eye. They consider him a moment, before sighing and giving him a reserved smile.]
[The kneejerk reaction of panic is back when he's shooed away, but he gets the picture pretty quickly and meekly disentangles himself and gives them more room. The smile...isn't as good a sign as it could be, but given the circumstances, he'll absolutely take it and cling to that little hope.
Tentatively, he draws his hand back up to brush their bangs away from their fair, touch light and gentle. He doesn't want to break what he still has.]
Um.
[It feels a little like a trap. Anything he says could be dumbass variety hour as he is, in fact, a dumbass.]
What do you do at night...? When people are asleep. Much as I want to, dunno if I can stay up all night with you.
Recharge, mostly. Browse the internet. It's kind of boring when everyone's asleep.
[Lonely, too, but they don't say that. Maybe they should, but they're not so sure. They don't feel like admitting that would be a good thing.
They can't really say why, though. This entire thing is kind of out of their scope of expertise. They're not supposed to fall in love. They're not supposed to want. They're supposed to kill, and fight, and this is as far from killing and fighting as you can get.
They've failed at their purpose, and they don't...know how they feel about that.]
[Recharging is out, but at least the internet is always there to provide... Know it's boring is bad enough, and he suspects the loneliness even without Rover outright saying it. He's still working on how to solve that problem when the new question is asked.]
What're you askin' that for...? [He means right now specifically, what did he do to make them insecure over it, but he's quick to move on either way. He avoids meeting their gaze, and trails his fingers down to trace at their collarbone. Lying would be stupid, even if the words are nicer.] ...Sometimes. A year ago, it definitely would have. There's shit that would be easier, I know that, but it's not fucking like...I'd fucking understand everything just because, if you were human.
It'd bother me way more if you weren't you anymore, Rover. As long as you're you, I can't regret this.
[They are, at least, glad that he's honest even if they wish he was completely okay with things. They'd just be fooling themself, though, and they know that.
But it's fine. It's okay. They hesitate for a moment, looking away.]
I was built for a reason, and I don't...I don't know what's going to happen when Nightfall is over. I don't know if I'm going to stop functioning once my duty is over or what. Are you...are you okay with that?
[But he doesn't regret this. They cling to that thought, wanting to hold it tight and never let go.]
[The way he goes quiet is probably enough to say that it hadn't been an option he considered, in this whirlwind romance or whatever the fuck. Eventually he sighs and shifts to lay on his back and stare up at the ceiling instead.]
Getting out of that without anyone dying would be a fucking miracle. I could die -- it's way more fucking likely that's gonna happen, you know? Nothing fucking special about me in a fight. And then if I somehow fucking don't, and you're okay... I'm gonna get old, someday, even if I don't got any kind of future I'm ready for. Life doesn't really give a shit about what I'm okay with. Dumb to try and plan around it.
[Maverick getting older isn't something they've really considered before. They've been too focused on themself that they...forgot that aging was inevitable. He's not going to be young forever.
Eventually, he's going to be gone.
What are they going to do without him?]
...Yeah. You're right.
[The scoot closer, resting their head against his chest. They listen to his heart beat, sighing.]
I guess there's no point in worrying about it all right now.
[Mav's quiet another beat, but then he curls both arms around them to hold them close.]
...No. Not really.
[There was no point to a lot of things, when you're thinking that far ahead. If he'd planned better, or been smarter, they probably wouldn't be here like this right now.]
I'm glad you stayed, [he repeats from earlier, though the cheer's gone out of him.]
[They’re almost afraid they’re going to get pushed away, though they can at least acknowledge that’s probably just paranoia on their part. They curl up into his side, pressing their lips together.]
Yeah. I am, too. [A beat.] Though I’m sorry I ruined the mood.
[His arms tighten, and he bites the inside of his cheek to hold back a sigh. He fucked up a perfectly good robot is what he did. Look at them, they've got anxiety. Also depression.]
Fuck off with that... I started it, if this fucking day in general didn't start it first. An' I want to hear what you think, remember?
What I think is that Thanksgiving is kind of a shitty holiday.
[Huff...Still, despite this, they’re glad they came. They’re glad they got to spend time with Maverick, meet his friends, experience taste for the first time. The fucking was pretty good, too, before they started talking.]
Not that all of tonight was bad, but...It seems way too stressful.
[He doesn't quite manage a laugh, but there's an amused huff, at least. Getting there.]
Yeah. Way too stressful... I swear, never had a Thanksgiving quite like that before. [friendship was a mistake, blah blah. Keeping one arm looped around them, he brings the other up to smooth through their hair as he hums in thought.] ...Yeah. Yeah, you were definitely the best part.
[And while he doesn't necessarily want to bring it back to sex, thinking about the high points of the day is definitely...reminding him about that whole Rover not minding the idea of taste-testing him. Hmmmmm. Keeping things serious and respectful is harder than it should be with this stupid sexy robot.]
[Maybe next time his love life won't be so fucking complicated. That would be nice.
They hum at the touch, tracing idle patterns across Maverick's chest with their hand. It's nice, being close to him, even with...all the things they're feeling.]
You know...
[Maybe they shouldn't bring it up. Hmm. They laugh, though, shaking their head.]
He rests his chin down on their chest and watches their face from his new perch.]
We still don't know a lot about each other. Half the time we're having sex or talking about it... It wouldn't make you an idiot if I made you think that was the most important thing. But good. You're more than that, even if you make me feel really fucking good.
[They speak slowly, deliberately, keeping their eyes on Maverick.]
I think that if you just wanted to fuck me you wouldn’t care about making sure you want more than that. So I get it. Shit’s complicated. But I still want to go down on you.
[Fair enough. He gives them a small smile and kisses their chest before sitting back up onto his knees and working on propping up his pillows for him to lean back against.]
They roll over onto their stomach, before pushing themself up on their hands and knees. They wait for Maverick to get settled before hovering over him with a smirk.]
no subject
They can't help but feel that they've fucked it all up, somehow.
At the laugh, they just...deflate. They don't quite manage to relax, but...
But they're listening.]
Do I? [Pathetic, they're pathetic, they don't deserve Maverick at all-] But I guess I am a pain in the ass.
[So it's a wonder anyone puts up with them at all.]
no subject
But the important thing is that he's breathing and not crying out of panic or relief or overwhelming love. That settled, Maverick begins laying kisses on the back of their neck and shoulders, slow and ginger. Each one is an admission silencing himself from the I love you, I love you on the tip of his tongue.]
M'sorry. Are you...gonna stay? Even though your boyfriend's a massive fucking idiot?
no subject
They close their eyes, squeezing his hand and mulling over their thoughts. They're still not sure what to do. They still don't know what's the right choice, but they suppose that it doesn't really matter. They have time to decide, at least, and there's no harm in just waiting things out.]
Yeah, you are an idiot. [They let out a soft laugh.] But I'll stay.
no subject
He doesn't want to rush them to answer, even if setting more kisses to their skin makes him feel weirdly guilty, like maybe he's manipulating them because he can't lose them -- but he can't, not when he's made this choice. He wants to make them happy and feel as loved as he, well, loves.
The affirmation and the laugh get him to smile against them, even if it's shaky.]
Thanks. And I, uh, should be done with the dumbass talking points for the night now, don't worry.
no subject
They hesitate for a moment, before releasing Maverick's hand and nudging at him to give them space so they can roll over and look him in the eye. They consider him a moment, before sighing and giving him a reserved smile.]
Yeah? What other talking points do you have?
no subject
Tentatively, he draws his hand back up to brush their bangs away from their fair, touch light and gentle. He doesn't want to break what he still has.]
Um.
[It feels a little like a trap. Anything he says could be dumbass variety hour as he is, in fact, a dumbass.]
What do you do at night...? When people are asleep. Much as I want to, dunno if I can stay up all night with you.
no subject
[Lonely, too, but they don't say that. Maybe they should, but they're not so sure. They don't feel like admitting that would be a good thing.
They can't really say why, though. This entire thing is kind of out of their scope of expertise. They're not supposed to fall in love. They're not supposed to want. They're supposed to kill, and fight, and this is as far from killing and fighting as you can get.
They've failed at their purpose, and they don't...know how they feel about that.]
Does it...bother you? That I'm not human?
no subject
What're you askin' that for...? [He means right now specifically, what did he do to make them insecure over it, but he's quick to move on either way. He avoids meeting their gaze, and trails his fingers down to trace at their collarbone. Lying would be stupid, even if the words are nicer.] ...Sometimes. A year ago, it definitely would have. There's shit that would be easier, I know that, but it's not fucking like...I'd fucking understand everything just because, if you were human.
It'd bother me way more if you weren't you anymore, Rover. As long as you're you, I can't regret this.
no subject
But it's fine. It's okay. They hesitate for a moment, looking away.]
I was built for a reason, and I don't...I don't know what's going to happen when Nightfall is over. I don't know if I'm going to stop functioning once my duty is over or what. Are you...are you okay with that?
[But he doesn't regret this. They cling to that thought, wanting to hold it tight and never let go.]
no subject
Getting out of that without anyone dying would be a fucking miracle. I could die -- it's way more fucking likely that's gonna happen, you know? Nothing fucking special about me in a fight. And then if I somehow fucking don't, and you're okay... I'm gonna get old, someday, even if I don't got any kind of future I'm ready for. Life doesn't really give a shit about what I'm okay with. Dumb to try and plan around it.
no subject
Eventually, he's going to be gone.
What are they going to do without him?]
...Yeah. You're right.
[The scoot closer, resting their head against his chest. They listen to his heart beat, sighing.]
I guess there's no point in worrying about it all right now.
no subject
...No. Not really.
[There was no point to a lot of things, when you're thinking that far ahead. If he'd planned better, or been smarter, they probably wouldn't be here like this right now.]
I'm glad you stayed, [he repeats from earlier, though the cheer's gone out of him.]
no subject
Yeah. I am, too. [A beat.] Though I’m sorry I ruined the mood.
[Because it is, of course, all their fault.]
no subject
Fuck off with that... I started it, if this fucking day in general didn't start it first. An' I want to hear what you think, remember?
no subject
What I think is that Thanksgiving is kind of a shitty holiday.
[Huff...Still, despite this, they’re glad they came. They’re glad they got to spend time with Maverick, meet his friends, experience taste for the first time. The fucking was pretty good, too, before they started talking.]
Not that all of tonight was bad, but...It seems way too stressful.
no subject
Yeah. Way too stressful... I swear, never had a Thanksgiving quite like that before. [friendship was a mistake, blah blah. Keeping one arm looped around them, he brings the other up to smooth through their hair as he hums in thought.] ...Yeah. Yeah, you were definitely the best part.
[And while he doesn't necessarily want to bring it back to sex, thinking about the high points of the day is definitely...reminding him about that whole Rover not minding the idea of taste-testing him. Hmmmmm. Keeping things serious and respectful is harder than it should be with this stupid sexy robot.]
no subject
[Maybe next time his love life won't be so fucking complicated. That would be nice.
They hum at the touch, tracing idle patterns across Maverick's chest with their hand. It's nice, being close to him, even with...all the things they're feeling.]
You know...
[Maybe they shouldn't bring it up. Hmm. They laugh, though, shaking their head.]
We were supposed to do something else.
no subject
Lost in his thoughts, he starts a little guiltily at their voice. Ah... Right, drag his brain out of the gutter, okay, here he is.]
Uh, yeah? Sorry, I keep getting distracted.
[what...was it... he gave them ice cream, so it isn't that, probably...]
no subject
And hopefully he's ready for his brain to get dragged right back down.]
I said I'd give you a taste, didn't I?
[Yes, they are aware that's probably the least sexy way they could have said that.]
no subject
He rolls them, hovering over top of them and giving them a few kisses before drawing back again.]
You don't just wanna do it because...you think that's the only reason why I like having you around, right?
no subject
Of course not. I'm not an idiot.
[...Or, well, not that much of an idiot.]
no subject
He rests his chin down on their chest and watches their face from his new perch.]
We still don't know a lot about each other. Half the time we're having sex or talking about it... It wouldn't make you an idiot if I made you think that was the most important thing. But good. You're more than that, even if you make me feel really fucking good.
no subject
[They speak slowly, deliberately, keeping their eyes on Maverick.]
I think that if you just wanted to fuck me you wouldn’t care about making sure you want more than that. So I get it. Shit’s complicated. But I still want to go down on you.
no subject
[Fair enough. He gives them a small smile and kisses their chest before sitting back up onto his knees and working on propping up his pillows for him to lean back against.]
Far be it from me to deny you that, then, huh?
no subject
[They’re joking. Probably.
They roll over onto their stomach, before pushing themself up on their hands and knees. They wait for Maverick to get settled before hovering over him with a smirk.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)