synthsized | •daybreak inbox

[His response is a sigh of his own against their neck, but he doesn't stop the gentle thrust of his fingers right away, like maybe just a few seconds more and Rover won't have called him out, or it will actually work. No such luck, of course.

Oh well. It wasn't particularly fair, anyway, even if he thinks it probably would have worked on him, were their roles reversed. That should concern him. Thoughts for later.]

Sorry. [And another kiss to their neck in apology as he finally slips his fingers out, though he still traces the lip of the slit while he thinks. It gives him something to do.] I just... I dunno what the fuck I'm supposed to say. It's not like I fucking get it when you talk about not being a person, or any of that. Not really... I don't --

[Ugh. He sighs again, and his already muffled voice becomes ever moreso.]

I don't wanna say something stupid and make you feel bad.

Well...

[Hmm. They don't really have any answers for him. They really don't know what to do or say in this - and it's not like they have any experience to draw from. All they have are their thoughts, and right now when they're not sure how good they are...]

I don't think there's any such thing as what you're supposed to say. There's just what you think, what you feel, and that's...That's worth sharing if you want to, I think.

[A pause, as they try to sort things into something that makes sense.]

I'd rather you say what you mean, even if you think it might be stupid. And...and if it would make you feel better, I can not talk about the person stuff?

What? No, that's not what... [Maverick's words trail off into a groan and he rolls to fall on his back and stare up at the ceiling, instead. That was a little better. Less distracting. He didn't want to smooch the ceiling.]

"Just what you think, what you feel, and that's worth sharing if you want". It's like that for me, too. I want...you to be you. I wanna fucking know who that is, and... I dunno. I wanna fucking make you happy. [So sex was safer than unfamiliar conversation territory, oops.]

[He doesn't get to stare at the ceiling for long, because Rover props themself up on their elbow to look down at him, effectively blocking his few.]

Okay. But...you don't have to like...Plan any grand schemes or do things completely perfectly to make me happy. You've made me happy already just being yourself, so...

[They shake their head.]

You don't need to try so hard or be scared of fucking up. I'm pretty easy.

[aaaaaaa no, his safe ceiling view -- ]

Pfh. I wouldn't fucking say that again, you know. [True or not... He doesn't really want other people going around thinking "wow Rover's easy," like he'll fight for their honor and all, but in an ideal world he doesn't have to because people won't be trying to get with his partner.

Less amused, though,] I don't want to fuck up. Even if you fucking say it's okay, it's just -- not?

[get rekt.]

Yeah? Noted.

[They'll probably only say it to Maverick, in that case, where it's completely harmless.]

Isn't fucking up a part of being human? And you're allowed to be human. You're not going to, like, break me or anything like that by not being perfect.

[ughughghhh he's just

gonna blindly feel around for a sheet or pillow or shirt or something to drape over his face because he can't handle this... Being allowed to be imperfect means being safe, and as content and happy as Rover makes him, he isn't quite...there yet. Even admitting as much as he had was pushing the limits of his comfort.

Huff. Stupid logical jerkbot.]

You can only say shit like that so easily because you're fucking perfect.

[Rover lets him grope around for a shield, watching him for a quiet moment.]

...I don't think I'm perfect. If I was perfect, I'd have less doubts on what I am, wouldn't I?

[They scooch closer, leaning against Maverick, effectively repaying the favor of trapping him.]

[He stills, finally, but even if he’s accepted his fate under them, he can’t seem to bring his gaze up to meet Rover’s yet. Wow, what a wall that is. Great. Sturdy as fuck.]

God, fuck no. [Maverick sighs, but he can’t really stop there, after such an adamant refusal.] I’ve seen a version of you without doubts and it fucking sucked. You’re — I wanna help you figure shit out if I can, but I like the you that you are now.

You are what I don’t want to lose, one way or another... So I don’t wanna fuck up. I dunno what’s...finally gonna do it, you know? Make you wanna stop...this.

[It started so suddenly, and with hardly anything known about one another. It didn’t seem so crazy that Rover would wise up soon, or get bored, or just...move on.]

[That gets Rover to go quiet and contemplative, looking down at him. They'd ask where they saw this version of themself, but - the mirror. It had to have been in the mirror, as weird and fucked up as it was.

They don't know what to say to make Maverick less worried - if it's even possible to have the words for that. So instead, they lean down to press a kiss to Maverick's shoulder, shaking their head.]

I don't know what would do it either, if it ever happens. But you don't know that it will, so just...try not to think too much about it? I like you. I'm not going to just stop liking you unless something drastic happens.

[And...if that happens, there's always the option to fix it. To overwrite whatever change happened and get Rover back to who they were before. But maybe they shouldn't say that right now.]

[There's no absolute there, no promise, but the allowance made is what gets Maverick to relax a little more, curling his arms around Rover and pulling them to him as he sighs out slow.]

Yeah.

[He feels so dumb, like a preteen girl with her first crush, having his heart thrum so intensely at just a I like you. As if they haven't said anything much more explicit that would get his blood pumping...but the little, straightforward assurances are nice. Rover likes him. He likes Rover. A whole fucking lot. He rests his cheek against the top of their head as he holds them and breathes for a while. Sure, he'll feel a lot better once the backup is in his hands, if they can really make that happen, but...for now, this is more than enough.

...]

I thinks it's, uh. Good. [ugh this sounds so stupid, but he really really wants to try, here] You calling me out and wanting to talk, instead of...letting me. [stuff]

I mean, I know this isn't just about sex, it's just ni -- hell. Never mind.

[They burrow into his side, resting their head against his chest. They can pick up on his heartbeat, and it's soothing. Grounding. It makes them feel just that little bit closer to him, and they enjoy it.]

Yeah? Of course I'm going to call you out. [They'll call you out all day every day if that's what it takes.] I care about you, not the things you do to me.

[What a dummy.]

Also we're supposed to be able to talk about shit, you know? I learned that.

[Ugh, he doesn't know if it comes across in his heartbeat at all, but fuck that makes it feel like it's going to explode. In a super good way. A floating away on a cloud made of happiness and dreams way. This is...too good, and if he thinks too much more on the wonder of that, he's going to tear up or something disgustingly embarrassing, so no more of that.]

Right. From the human things.

[They pinch his side.]

Yes, from the human things. Some of them really highlight what you should and shouldn't do!

[He protests with a noise of displeasure, but it dissolves quickly into a laugh. It's just...ridiculous.]

Dunno if I look forward to finding out everything you've learned, but in this instance? Fine, the damn romcoms win.

I learned a few things...

[They run their hand down Maverick's side, stopping at his hip.]

Who knows if you'll ever figure out all of them.

[oh]

Oh?

[His tone suggests he's receptive to learning despite what he'd said. Pretty hard not to be curious, with this dumb robot doing and saying things...]

Yeah.

[They squeeze his hip, before shifting and propping themself up above Maverick. They grin down at him lazily, before ducking down to press a kiss to a collarbone.]

Now, I don't know how accurate it all is and how much is...exaggerated, but...

[He hums softly, tipping his chin up a bit to give Rover more space and arch into the contact at the same time.]

Well. Good thing you got me around, huh? Reliable source...of information... You teach me, I teach you.

Best source of information I could ask for.

[They kiss down his chest, taking their time. They're in no rush, and they're sure Maverick isn't, either.]

You're not afraid to guide me.

[He may not be in a rush, and he'd happily laze about all day, but there's still a twitch of impatience at their leisurely pace. He lifts a hand to gently tangle in their hair, smoothing through before resting there. Gives him an extra point to...guide from, if it's needed. While Maverick wants to continue the banter, his mind is drawing a blank that only gets worse as he feels he's disappointing them.]

What's to be afraid of? You're a quick learner. [wow, stupendously done. idiot. Come on, though, like it's his fault his brain shits itself when Rover's being all affectionate?] Uh, eager to be taught, in my experience. Rover was called 'Curiosity', and all.

[There, that was a little back on his game, right? Ugh, he's floundering.]

[They laugh against his skin, grinning before taking a gentle bite.]

Yeah?

[They're definitely eager, if the way they keep drifting lower is any indication.]

Well, I haven't run out of things I want to explore, either...

[Oh, that's a complicated feeling, and Rover will be immediately alerted to Maverick's trepidation by the way his fingers curl in their hair, tightening into a fist and inadvertently tugging. This wasn't bad -- not bad at all -- but any more than that and he doesn't know anymore. It speaks to his trust in Rover that he lets his hand relax again and that his voice is lacking tension when he requests,]

Please don't bite me. You can do whatever else to me, hurting me's cool, just...uh, no biting.

Okay.

[They're going to file that hurting him comment away for later, but accepting no biting is as easy as that. They press a gentle kiss to the spot they bit, and don't even question why it's not okay.]

So you won't mind if I just suck you off?

[He laughs before he can help it, brushing his hand through again, touch tender. He likes them...so, so much.]

How the hell would I mind? Fuck, I'll mind now if you're just teasing me.

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