synthsized | •daybreak inbox

[The moan is performative, maybe, but they are enjoying this. Maybe not the same way Maverick can, but they still find pleasure in it. They like knowing they have this effect on him, they like feeling him on top of them, and a part of them even likes the feeling of being used.

They get the feeling if they told Maverick, though, he wouldn't take it well.

They giggle at his aborted warning, squeezing his wrist. He tried, at least.]

Yeah?

[They're panting for real, now, puffs of steam escaping their lips. They seem to be getting better at temperature regulation, but they still can't help but feel a little overheated.]

You're not so bad yourself. You're wonderful.

[They reach up for his other hand, twining their fingers together.]

[He doesn't want to get out of them, even if every slight movement now is almost too much with how sensitive he is. He wants to stay as close as possible, though his heart flutters with joy that overrides these conflicting thoughts when Rover takes his hand. He's more careful about moving them, now, trying to stay inside while still shifting to lay down with them and pull them against his chest so he can brush his lips along the nape of their neck.]

Mmn... [They're sweet. He feels so much for them...] I'm glad you stayed. [He's so, so glad they like him.]

[They don't protest the manhandling, settling back against Maverick's chest and taking his hands in theirs. They're content to lay there, eyes sliding closed as their systems return to normal.]

I'm glad I stayed, too. [Of course they stayed. They want to be with Maverick, and that means spending time with him whenever they're allowed. They can't place into words all that they feel for him, but...Sometimes they don't think they need to.]

[Arm draped around them and listening to their inner mechanisms, it's more tempting than ever to let the alcohol and afterglow lull him to sleep, but frustration with the idea makes him sigh against their neck. Stay awake, damn it. It's time to enjoy the wind down from the rest of the hectic day.]

I wanted to do more than...that, you know. Had things I wanted to talk about, and we'd get to know more about each other... I mean, not complaining. How could I?

[Don't sleep, this is prime time for awkwardness and cuddles.

Rover chuckles, softly.]

I mean, we can still talk. Just because I'm covered in jizz now doesn't mean we can't talk. What kind of things do you want to know?

[He huffs out a tired laugh against their hair.]

You're awful....

[He's still not complaining.]

Um. Well... [Everything????] Shit I probably should've asked, I guess? I mean... Seeing you stroll on up with Grim Creeper didn't have to be such a fucking surprise. I dunno who you know or what you do, when we're not together. Do you have friends? Other people that are important n' shit?

I'm not that bad.

[They close their eyes, thinking about it for a moment before shrugging.]

Well...Rex made me. I don't really know that many people besides him, though. I mean, I've met plenty of people, but I wouldn't say that they're my friends. They're just...people. [They haven't found anyone quite like Maverick - a person who made them curious, that intrigued them, and that made them want to know them.] I should probably make more friends, huh?

[Mav hums, shifting his arm a little so he can run his fingers up Rover's stomach and between their breasts, then back down again in a lazy touch.]

Probably couldn't fucking hurt.

[As long as they don't find someone else to spend their time with, and who they'll let touch them like this... He sighs again and closes his eyes as he grimaces. Selfish hypocrite, huh.]

I, um. One of my best friends was here earlier, I dunno if you got to meet her.

[ughhhhhh]

Should tell you somethin' but I don't want you fucking getting the wrong idea.

Probably not.

[It's probably a good thing they can't see his face, so they don't know that he's - once again - working himself up over this.

They hum.]

Might've. I think I said hi to most people, at least.

[But...Hm.]

What kind of idea do you want me to get?

[That...is a good fucking question he isn't quite sure he has a good answer to. He can barely piece together what he doesn't want Rover to think, or whether that's the wrong idea at all. Ugh, things are confusing.]

I guess... When it was fucking about my ex, you said something like not asking who I wanted to be with. So that, uh, idea.

[he's fucking this up but he already fucked it up by fucking before having this fucking conversation so no one was fucking surprised and he should fucking move away or face them or something but he's too fucking scared to put any distance between them

After all that shit, I, uh. Went on a walk with her -- Adelaide. I had to ask her about something that was in that shitty fog mirror, and it -- I dunno. I fucking...told her I love her. And, uh, she loves me, too. I guess.

[They're quiet for a moment, letting Maverick's words settle in.

For a moment, they wonder if they should ask who he wants to be with. If it even matters. They...

They want Maverick to be happy, and for as much as he seems happy with them, wouldn't he be happier with someone who... Someone who's more of an equal? Someone who can feel things the way he can? Someone who he knows better, who isn't so inexperienced?

But Maverick is with them, and they want him. They reach for the hand that was tracing patterns up their stomach, threading their fingers together.]

You're a very lovable guy.

[They can't help the way they curl in on themselves, feeling raw and exposed and like maybe this was a mistake. Maverick deserves better than just some - some machine.]

I don't think I could blame her for that. But you're not... You're...

[They trail off, not sure what to say.]

[I don't think I could blame her for that. But you're not...

His stomach twists uncomfortably and makes him regret drinking anything yet again as his mind runs wild with what Rover might be trying to say. He wasn't something, so...they could blame him, maybe? That makes the most sense to him. How does he always manage to fuck it up?

But they're also intertwining their fingers with his, and he takes a tight hold of their hand like that alone might be enough to convey all his complicated thoughts and feelings, and most importantly the desire he has to keep Rover there with him.]

I -- [hhh] I get it, if you're pissed. I would be. I mean... I don't want to think about someone else and you...

[He's so stupid. What made it make sense when it was him, but made him sick when it was Rover hypothetically telling other people they loved them? Despite his brain telling him he should be giving them space to process it, that's the right thing, he can't fight the urge to pull them closer to him and let out a shaky exhale.]

I'd fucking deserve it, huh? But I don't -- I don't want to lose you.

I'm not pissed.

[And they're not. They don't think they could be, don't think they have that right. They're lucky being allowed to be close with him like this, and if...if he wants other people, they would let him.

They wouldn't be happy, but is their happiness really that important? They're not...They're not something that deserves happiness, the way people do. They're not even supposed to be happy, so what does it matter anyways?

A part of them doesn't want to consider it, doesn't want to have this conversation, but...they need to talk about it. They know they do. They sigh.]

I don't want to lose you either. [Their voice is soft, and a part of them is scared to speak.] Are you sure that's what you want?

[So much for not asking, they suppose.]

[It doesn't feel real, even though he's very literally feeling them and any minute change in how they hold themself. They don't have the same way of speaking that a human does, but he can still feel the words coming out of them, even if it may just be his imagination. He doesn't think he's desperate enough that that would be conjured up by his brain instead of the well-deserved anger he'd been expecting...so he doesn't quite get it. They should be pissed, if this mattered at all, right?

...He holds his breath and waits for their words to beat that traitorous thought down. This wasn't the time for his insecure bullshit.]

Yeah. I already told them I wanna make this shit with you work. I want this, I'm sure. I want you.

Is it because I'm convenient, or-

[They cut themself off, already having said too much. It feels cruel, doubting Maverick. They don't know what he'd gain from leading them on, for making them feel special.

But they can't deny that maybe he's just settling. That he knows he would be happier with Adelaide, with anyone else, but he's roped this stupid robot into this and he's deluded himself into thinking a machine could be any better.]

I'm sorry, that was- just. You can ignore that.

[He tenses up, but doesn't otherwise react right away. It's...weird to hear something he's thought to himself come out of someone else's mouth. To be levied at him instead. It isn't until Rover dismisses it that Maverick blinks and crawls back out of his thoughts.]

No --

[To the question? To ignoring it? Both. Very much both. As ridiculously inappropriate as it is in the moment, he lets out a shaky laugh.]

Convenient...? Come on, Rover. Y-you're a pain in the ass. [He presses his forehead against their neck, shuddering softly. He speaks more steadily when he continues, but it's not much more than a mumble.] I jus'... I don't wanna tell you the same day I told someone else. You deserve way fucking more than that.

[Maverick tensing gets Rover to tense as well, and they unconsciously cling to his hand. They don't...They wish they could get a do over, that they could stop the words from ever leaving their mouth.

They can't help but feel that they've fucked it all up, somehow.

At the laugh, they just...deflate. They don't quite manage to relax, but...

But they're listening.]

Do I? [Pathetic, they're pathetic, they don't deserve Maverick at all-] But I guess I am a pain in the ass.

[So it's a wonder anyone puts up with them at all.]

[He takes a second to just learn how to breathe like a normal person again, just a calm, normal person that isn't stressed to hell over something as unexpected and cosmically minor as a love life. He manages, sort of, even if he's just mirroring the habits of whoever that normal person really is, because with how intensely he cares for Rover in the moment, even after everything else that happened in the day.

But the important thing is that he's breathing and not crying out of panic or relief or overwhelming love. That settled, Maverick begins laying kisses on the back of their neck and shoulders, slow and ginger. Each one is an admission silencing himself from the I love you, I love you on the tip of his tongue.]

M'sorry. Are you...gonna stay? Even though your boyfriend's a massive fucking idiot?

[The kisses are what get them to really relax. Maverick wouldn't touch them so much if he was disgusted with them, or if he didn't care, they think, so it's easy to just let it happen.

They close their eyes, squeezing his hand and mulling over their thoughts. They're still not sure what to do. They still don't know what's the right choice, but they suppose that it doesn't really matter. They have time to decide, at least, and there's no harm in just waiting things out.]

Yeah, you are an idiot. [They let out a soft laugh.] But I'll stay.

[they were literally fucking just two minutes ago but okay rover

He doesn't want to rush them to answer, even if setting more kisses to their skin makes him feel weirdly guilty, like maybe he's manipulating them because he can't lose them -- but he can't, not when he's made this choice. He wants to make them happy and feel as loved as he, well, loves.

The affirmation and the laugh get him to smile against them, even if it's shaky.]

Thanks. And I, uh, should be done with the dumbass talking points for the night now, don't worry.

[Rover is not smart, leave them alone.

They hesitate for a moment, before releasing Maverick's hand and nudging at him to give them space so they can roll over and look him in the eye. They consider him a moment, before sighing and giving him a reserved smile.]

Yeah? What other talking points do you have?

[The kneejerk reaction of panic is back when he's shooed away, but he gets the picture pretty quickly and meekly disentangles himself and gives them more room. The smile...isn't as good a sign as it could be, but given the circumstances, he'll absolutely take it and cling to that little hope.

Tentatively, he draws his hand back up to brush their bangs away from their fair, touch light and gentle. He doesn't want to break what he still has.]

Um.

[It feels a little like a trap. Anything he says could be dumbass variety hour as he is, in fact, a dumbass.]

What do you do at night...? When people are asleep. Much as I want to, dunno if I can stay up all night with you.

Recharge, mostly. Browse the internet. It's kind of boring when everyone's asleep.

[Lonely, too, but they don't say that. Maybe they should, but they're not so sure. They don't feel like admitting that would be a good thing.

They can't really say why, though. This entire thing is kind of out of their scope of expertise. They're not supposed to fall in love. They're not supposed to want. They're supposed to kill, and fight, and this is as far from killing and fighting as you can get.

They've failed at their purpose, and they don't...know how they feel about that.]

Does it...bother you? That I'm not human?

[Recharging is out, but at least the internet is always there to provide... Know it's boring is bad enough, and he suspects the loneliness even without Rover outright saying it. He's still working on how to solve that problem when the new question is asked.]

What're you askin' that for...? [He means right now specifically, what did he do to make them insecure over it, but he's quick to move on either way. He avoids meeting their gaze, and trails his fingers down to trace at their collarbone. Lying would be stupid, even if the words are nicer.] ...Sometimes. A year ago, it definitely would have. There's shit that would be easier, I know that, but it's not fucking like...I'd fucking understand everything just because, if you were human.

It'd bother me way more if you weren't you anymore, Rover. As long as you're you, I can't regret this.

[They are, at least, glad that he's honest even if they wish he was completely okay with things. They'd just be fooling themself, though, and they know that.

But it's fine. It's okay. They hesitate for a moment, looking away.]

I was built for a reason, and I don't...I don't know what's going to happen when Nightfall is over. I don't know if I'm going to stop functioning once my duty is over or what. Are you...are you okay with that?

[But he doesn't regret this. They cling to that thought, wanting to hold it tight and never let go.]

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